Dating Safety
Eventually you might like to meet your online
friend in person and when that happens you should always arrange the first
meetings in a public place where you can feel somewhat safer.
Having a friend come along with you can also
help maintain your safety particularly for females.
If you find that the person is reluctant for you
to meet their friends or family this could raise concerns as to why this might
be so. Don’t leave anything to chance and if you do have concerns bring them
out into the open and get them sorted before meeting with them.
If they refuse to address any issues you have or
don’t give you direct answers to your questions then it is up to you to take
control and delay any meetings until you are satisfied with the information you
have.
You need to always be aware of your safety.
While some of the dating sites do background
checks on their members in areas such as marital status and criminal history
you will still need to take additional steps to make sure you don’t get into
problematic situations.
Just as there are people with ulterior motives
in the offline world there are those, even on the best dating sites that can
cause trouble.
You should use the fact that your initial
contact with anyone is from the safety of your own computer to find out all the
information you can about them.
The more contact you make with your online
friends before meeting in person the more likely you are to find out whether
there should be any reason to avoid them.
It can be a good idea to get the person to join
you in the group chat rooms where they are more likely to let their guard down
and you will get a clearer view of what they are really like.
Use all the services provided by the dating site
to help you move your relationship forward while still remaining in control.
Many dating sites organize dinners and outings
for their members and this can be a great way to meet someone for the first
time offline while still having the security of a controlled environment.
Developing Relationships
Dating online has many similarities to offline
dating where you need to take the time to develop a relationship.
If you treat your online relationships in such a
manner you will find that you have more success and there are several tips that
you can use to make it work for you.
Just as you would leave time to meet with
someone if you were dating them offline you need to allow time to make contact
with your online friends on a regular basis when it is most suitable to both
parties.
Don’t take people for granted simply because
online dating is so convenient. Remember that there are thousands of other
people on these dating sites so if you don’t treat people right they will
simply move on and you will have to start over again.
If you miss contacting someone when you are
supposed to, you had better hope you have a good explanation because everyone
knows that the convenience of the Internet allows people to contact one another
with very little effort.
Obviously if you do this often then it is
unlikely you will gain the respect of the other person and sooner rather than
later they will end the relationship.
Be very careful with whom you share others
peoples information as it doesn’t take very long for information to spread
quickly on the Internet and if anyone finds out that it was you who revealed
private conversation or information then your chances of that relationship
surviving will be very small.
Treat people how you would like to be treated
and take the time to learn about one another and don’t make the conversation
center on you. On the other hand don’t force the other person to reveal any of
their private information if they are reluctant to do so. Once you have gained
one another’s trust you should be able to learn enough about each other to
decide whether you want to move forward with the relationship.
Getting Help and Advice
Just because you are using an online dating
service to find a suitable friend or partner doesn’t mean that you can’t ask
the advice of your friends and family for their opinions of the person you are
communicating with.
There are people now who know of no other way of
dating than online dating sites and it is not uncommon for them to show others
the profiles of the people they are interested in to see what they think of
their potential partners.
It is always good to get the opinions of people
you trust and online dating sites can make it easy for you to do this. You
shouldn’t share the communications you have with other people online however
their online profiles are a different matter.
Many people will also allow their friends and
family members to help them choose people they think are suitable for them.
It can be fun and exciting looking through all
the potential people online to see who might be worth contacting for more
information.
Years ago many people would have tried to hide
the fact that they were using online dating services to find someone but as
this has become a mainstream way of dating you shouldn’t have any concerns
about letting people know that you are using these sites to find someone.
You might be surprised to find that there are
more people that you know who are using them that you might have expected.
At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter
where you find someone provided they are the right person for you and if
finding that person is made easier with the help of friends and family then let
them know and let them help you to get what you want.
Isn’t that what friends are for?
How to Attract People Online
To attract the right person you need to attract
their attention and online you have two ways to do that; with your words and
with your photo.
Obviously your photo is the first point of
attraction as that is what people will see first and that will determine
whether they want to read what you have to say about yourself.
Make sure your photo is current because when you
attract someone you will eventually want to meet up with them if you intend to
take the relationship any further. You certainly won’t want your new friend to
get a surprise when they first meet you only to find that they had been looking
at a photograph that is ten years old.
Not only might they be disappointed but you will
be likely to have lost their trust if they think that you have tried to fool
them into thinking you were younger.
Make sure you are smiling in the photograph
because that will increase your chances of getting a response.
Once they find your photo appealing they will
want to learn more about you so your details on your profile need to be
accurate yet interesting enough for them to want to make contact and get to
know you better.
Adding humor works well provided it is
appropriate as most people are looking for more fun in their lives and if they
think you can offer them more fun and entertainment then you will stand a better
chance of making more contacts.
The people who have the most success on the
online dating sites are those who write their profiles in such a way as to
offer the reader some form of benefit for making contact. Don’t use your chance
to introduce yourself to brag about what you have or what you have done. You
might attract some people but they will be more likely interested in what they
can get from you rather than how either party can enhance the other persons
life.
Little Things Make A Difference
Sometimes it’s the little things that can make
all the difference.
You might be surprised to know that even
something as simple as your spelling when you are conversing with others online
can determine whether they want to remain in contact with you.
A recent survey that went into many different
areas of online dating revealed that some people who worked in professional
employment were ‘put off’ by something as simple as the errors in spelling made
by people they were in contact with online.
It even affected their decision to stop the
friendship as they were looking for a permanent relationship and it appeared to
them that the other person wasn’t of an intellect that they would be happy
with.
Now as harsh as it might sound they could be
forgiven for their views simply because there is a spell checker that anyone
can use on their computer and the newer computers will do it in any application
including conversations posted in dating sites.
While there are many people, professional or
otherwise how can’t spell very well, there is no excuse for not using the
services that are available to check spelling first.
The reason why this needs to be mentioned is not
to focus on poor spelling but moreso on the things that can affect your ability
to attract someone.
You might have excellent spelling but it might
be quite obvious that you have put very little effort into your profile or you
haven’t bothered to use a quality photograph of yourself.
You appearance online is reflected in the things
you do online from your photo and profile to the written comments you use to
converse with others.
Now having said that, there is an ever
increasing number of people who will type in ‘text style’ on the dating sites
as they would communicate on their mobile phones so don’t be too concerned if
you can’t spell. Just make sure that people understand that you are willing to
make an effort and you are attracting the right type of people who will be
compatible with your level of intellect.
Online Dating Is Easy
There are no longer limitations to what you can
expect or what you will get in a relationship due to the popularity of online
dating sites.
As common as it was for people to get involved
with matchmaking for others just a few years ago, there are thousands of people
flocking to the online dating sites on a daily basis to sign up and see what
they can find in a relationship.
There are no longer any boundaries and even the
distance from one another is no longer a problem as people from all over the
world strike up friendships that can lead to long term relationships.
Have you ever considered that the ideal person
for you might be living in another state? It’s not all that hard to comprehend
is it and in the past your chance of meeting that person would be near
impossible except for an exceptional circumstance that could lead you to find
one another.
Now your ideal date might be the person who just
signed up with the same dating membership site that you have been a member of.
You might be the perfect person that someone
else has been looking for and the only thing stopping you finding one another
is whether or not you have added your profile to the online dating sites for
them to find you.
What could be easier than filling out some
information about yourself and then having wonderful people contact you for
friendship and relationships?
It’s as easy as finding a car.
You know what you are looking for and rather
than searching in all the wrong places you can go directly to the source where
you know you will be able to find what you want.
The more specific your requirements the more you
will need to use the online dating services to find exactly what you want.
Planning Your Meetings
Consider where your first offline encounter will
take place as this can make the difference between having a relaxed and
friendly encounter or one where there could be difficulties.
If you meet at a restaurant or café for lunch it
will give you the opportunity to talk and remain relaxed without the atmosphere
becoming too intimate.
You might have a desire for it to become more
intimate but it is good to have the option to keep the relationship at arms
length if the other person doesn’t turn out to be as expected.
A date at an earlier time of the day will give
you time to decide whether you want to remain in each others company for the
evening or call it a day while you have the opportunity.
You should also come prepared with reasons why
you have to get away so you don’t feel obliged to stay with the person.
Planning in advance will remove any anxiety if
the time comes where you feel the need to end the meeting.
By meeting at places such as cafes you will find
it easier to talk with one another than you would in a noisy night club or bar
and it is only through your discussions that you will get to know one another
better.
Never accept invitations to return to the
person’s home even if you feel very comfortable with them as you will not have
the control of the situation that you need in the initial stages of any
relationship.
It is not the same situation you will be in as
you would if the person you were meeting was a friend of a friend or someone
who was known to other acquaintances of yours that would allow you to have a
higher level of trust.
If the relationship appears to be working out
well there will be plenty more opportunities to visit their home in the future
so there is no need to rush into anything that you might regret later.
Take your time and enjoy the fun along the way
while remaining safe at all times.
Realistic Expectations
Be realistic with your expectations of the
people you will find on any dating site.
While you will have access to a database of
people that will far exceed any opportunities you will get anywhere else you
need to remember that they are just humans that you are communicating with and
everyone has their faults and unusual personality traits that might not always
be completely to your liking.
You don’t need to compromise on things that are
of particular importance to you but you will have to understand that even Mr.
Right or Ms. Right is bound to have something that you could find annoying if
you let it.
The right person is usually the one where their
flaws don’t matter to you. Just remember that you might have similar
characteristics that could annoy other people too but it is the acceptance of
these flaws that allows us to enjoy all the other benefits of having a good
relationship.
No one is perfect and expecting perfection can
result in you missing out on a lot of enjoyment in your life.
In actual fact you would do well to avoid other
people who are expecting perfection because they will never be completely
satisfied with what they have and that can be a recipe for disaster in any
relationship.
It is the little quirks in a person’s personality
that can often make them more fun to be with and having fun is what life is all
about. Online dating sites offer you the opportunity to participate in that fun
so make the most of the chances you find online.
Even if you find someone to communicate with who
might not be the ideal partner it is in the networking that can be done on the
dating sites with the group chat and the arranged events where you might
finally find what you have been looking for.
There is opportunity at every corner for those
who are looking for it.
Telling The Truth
There is often a temptation with people to cloud
the truth when using online dating services.
It is only natural for someone to want to appear
more appealing and that can be achieved by making things seem a little better
than they are to the person they are communicating with.
Surely they would like you more if they knew you
had a fit and toned physique.
Maybe knocking a few years off your age might
give you the chance to date more people.
Or maybe telling them that you have a high paid
job might be the determining factor whether they allow you to meet them offline
or not.
Well it might seem like a good idea at the time
but what do you think the person will do when they find out that their
expectations are different from the reality?
Honesty is the best policy as what they expect
is what they will get and you won’t have to try to live up to any false ideals
that you have created.
You want people to like the real you and they
can only do that if they really know who you are and not who you want them to
believe you are.
I guess if it is purely an online only
relationship then it might not matter as much but so many times what starts out
as an online friendship turns into a romance that is taken to the next level offline
and if you get yourself into a situation where you would like to finally meet
in person you will have some explaining to do to avoid the disappointment.
There are so many occasions where people have
started online friendships in different countries and eventually met up in real
life, so don’t assume that it won’t happen to you.
Think of how disappointed you will be if it does
turn out to be the person of your dreams when you meet and they decide to take
the relationship no further because they have been misled.
Which Dating Sites For You
With so many different dating sites available it
is difficult to know which ones are the most suitable for your needs.
Knowing your needs before you start looking will
help you to make the right decisions. If you know what you are looking for then
you can more easily get the dating site membership that will deliver the
results you are after.
If, for instance, you know that you only want a
Christian partner, then there are several dating sites available where you will
find other likeminded Christians. The same applies to dating sites specifically
for Jewish people.
There are sites for gays and lesbians and
various different ethnic groups.
These niche dating sites make it a lot easier to
find the people you are really interested in and by narrowing down the field
you are more likely to find what you want a lot more easily.
You won’t need to search through thousands of
other profiles to find what you are looking for. This is something that will be
necessary on the big sites that cater to all and sundry.
While most of the big dating sites have search
features where you can more easily find your specific requirements they aren’t
as focused as the niche sites and the people who have their profiles in these
niche specific sites are determined to find only people in that market.
For that reason the percentage of success for
people joining the dedicated dating sites is higher than those on the more
general sites.
The people on these sites are generally more
active and you can expect a better experience most of the time.
There are a growing number of dating sites that
are getting more and more targeted to help people have the best opportunity of
success in the least amount of time.
It depends on the amount of time you have to
search for a friend whether such sites might be the best solution for your
needs.